You will be able to deal with others more effectively if you can read their body language. In order to ensure your message is understood the best way, you need to understand how the other person feels and adapt your message and communication style to suit. how do you know what to listen What are some other signs that you can use to figure out what someone is thinking about The name LaRae Quy is familiar to those of you who follow my column. While she spent 23 years as a counterintelligence agent for the FBI, LaRae now works as a writer, speaker, and teacher, passing on tips that she learned from working for the agency. There are a number of lessons entrepreneurs, business owners, and everyone else can learn from them. find more of LaRae’s advice in my articles “An FBI Agent’s Five Steps to Develop Mental Toughness” and “An FBI Agent’s 8 Ways to Spot a Liar.”) Here are her nine
1. Create a baseline
There are many quirks and patterns of behavior that distinguish people from one another. As an example, they may clear their throat while talking, squint, pout, and pop their feet. They may also cross their arms, scratch their heads, stroke their necks, scratch their heads, or cross their arms. Our reactions to others’ behavior may not even register when they do them at the beginning. In that case, we usually do not put too much attention into it. The reasons for displaying these behaviors may be different for different people. It may just be a matter of It is probable, however, that the same behaviors can also signal It will help you if you establish a mental baseline of what others do as normal.
2. Look for deviations
Inconsistency between your baseline and what the person is saying or doing can be difficult to detect. You can use the following examples It’s a habit of an important supplier of yours to clear his throat repeatedly when feeling This is what he starts doing as he introduces a few relatively minor changes to your business arrangement. Could the situation be more complicated than it seems? It may make more sense for you to probe a bit further and ask a few more questions than you normally would.
3. Notice clusters of gestures
A lone gesture or word does not necessarily tell us anything, but when several of them occur at the same time, take notice. Take for instance the manner in which your supplier keeps clearing his throat, along with the fact that he keeps scratching his head. His feet are shuffling as he continues to shuffle. Using caution is a good idea.
4. Compare and contrast
Okay, so you’ve noticed that someone has been acting a little strangely lately. If and when that person repeats the same behavior with others in your group, take your observation to the next level. Keep an eye on the person as he or she interacts with other people. Can you tell if the person’s expression has changed? Would you be able to tell about how he or she is posing or how they are acting?
5. Look into the mirror
It is as though our brains have built-in monitors that reflect the state of mind of other people. It’s hard not to read someone’s body language when we are together. We smile because of the muscles in our own faces that make us smile, but frown because of the muscles in our own faces that make us frown. Our eyebrows arch as we see someone we like, and our facial muscles relax, we tilt our head, and blood rushes to our lips, causing them to fill up. You can interpret this behavior as a clear message from your partner in case she does not reciprocate You are not popular or like something you did that he or she does not like.
6. Identify the strong voice
It is not always the person sitting at the head of the table who is the most powerful. People who are confident speak with strength. When many people are gathered around a conference table, whoever seems most confident is very likely to be the most powerful Taking a big stance with a strong voice and an expansive smile can make you seem very credible to others. (Don’t confuse voice volume with power.) If you are pitching an idea to a group, you can tell who the leader is by looking at his face. It is possible that that leader is a weak character. It is more likely that he or she is heavily influenced by others when it comes to making decisions. When you recognize the voice that commands attention, your chances of succeeding are greatly increased.
7. Observe how they walk
People who lack confidence are often shufflers, lack a flowing motion in their movements, or keep their heads down. In order to help build the confidence of a member of your team who exhibits these characteristics, you may want to take the time to offer a commendation. It might help to ask him or her more direct questions during a meeting so that they can bring up their excellent ideas.
8. Pinpoint action words
I found that words were the closest way for me to get into another person’s head when I worked as an FBI agent. It is important to identify the word that carries a great deal of meaning for the reader. The action word is decided, such as when your boss says she has “decided” to stick with brand X. If one word represents your boss’s mindset, than this indicates 1) that he or she is not impulsive, 2) that he or she weighed several options, and 3) that he or she is a critical thinker. The way someone thinks can be discovered through the use of action words.
9. Look for personality clues
While we each have our own unique personalities, there are a few basic clarifications that will help you relate to another so you can read them correctly.
Can you tell from someone’s behavior whether they are more introverted or extroverted? Whenever you meet him or her, does it seem like a relationship or significance drives them? When faced with uncertainty and risk, how does the individual handle the situation? Where does he or she find nourishment for the When the person is stressed, how does he or she act? If a person is relaxed, what sorts of behaviors do they exhibit?
Putting it all together
Every time LaRae gives a tip, I find myself thinking about it. The good thing about reading people is that it takes time to become adept at it. It goes without saying that every rule has an exception. If you keep these observations in mind as you practice your powers of observation, you will find that you will be more effective at reading others, understanding their perspective, and communicating.